A few weeks ago, I realized that I was "different" than I used to be because compliments drive me to push harder instead of making me feel complacent. The compliments make me want to work harder in the garage, sweat longer, walk farther and faster... They push me to be better physically.
But I've let myself slip in the kitchen. Using the excuse "too many social events" as a free pass to indulge too frequently. I don't think I'll ever go back to my old eating habits, but I have definitely been misbehaving.
It's never too late to start over, right? Now that I've got some significant trips on my calendar, it's time to get my ass back in gear!
Someone recently asked me how did losing weight make me feel. Like a giddy idiot, I told them. And it does. It's not like I did it to get more attention from guys or so I could rock a bikini. I'm happier, I smile more, I'm more social, I handle the crap life throws at me much better. The biggest thing I've noticed is I'm not nearly as "mad at the world" as I used to be.
I've managed to maintain so far this year, which, quite frankly, SUCKS BALLS. I find myself in the same predicament I was in when 2012 started. Clearly I've falling into another case of fuckarounditis. Once again, I've got to rally the troops and dig myself out of this hole. There is still a long way to go!
So when the vanity reasons weren't at the forefront before, let's put them there now. I'm going to visit friends and family on the West Coast in July, which will definitely include a trip to the beach. And while I STILL will not be rockin' a bikini, I'd like to be comfortable enough to not wear board shorts. In September, I'm going to a convention, and I want to look great for a particular outfit and photo-op! Just to prove that I'm not totally vain, I've also got to get ready for a Spartan Beast in December. Regardless of the number on the scale, I need to be fit in order to finish a 12-mile obstacle course.
My first project of the year, #Relentless, was not a total failure. If nothing else, it taught me that when it comes to maintenance, I know what to do. I'd like to think that I've moved from calorie counting to "intuitive" eating. I put on muscle during the first three months of this year. I can feel (and see) muscle and definition it places it did not exist before, which is so exciting! When I'm pissed off with the scale, I go flex in the mirror and feel much better.
So for the rest of April, I'm going to be doing the routines from the Men's Health Spartacus DVDs. I'm using this next two weeks to get back in the habit after sitting on the bench for the first half of April. I'll be calling it something you've probably heard me talk about before: #SunsOutGunsOut!
And this battle is going to be in the kitchen. I hate to say that I'm going to be saying no to a lot of things, but it won't be forever. Alcohol is definitely going off the menu (again), so are things like pancakes, syrup, excessive bread, sugary drinks (juice), deep fried anything, and I'm getting back to a structured eating schedule. Honestly, I don't know what happened to my protein intake, but it has completely fallen off. Must get back to making sure I'm getting protein, especially if I'm going to be doing any form of weight training.
I have been whining about how tired I am of doing research and making my own programs. Well, I don't have the funds to hire a coach or a trainer, and that is no excuse to let my results fall off. I've gotten myself this far and now is the time to dig deep and forge ahead!
That also means I'm calling on y'all (yes, you, reading this post) to pull me through once again! Your support has both pulled me from the brink and pushed me over a few hurdles in the past. I'm asking for tough love and high fives to get me through the final stage of weight loss.
And because we all need something to look forward to, I'm not going to allow myself to buy the final season of Spartacus until I reach my initial goal of 111lbs lost. That's 20lbs from here. How bad do I want it? We shall see!
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